How to Cope with Major Life Transitions
Deep down, we know things won’t always stay the same. But when change comes, it always seems to surprise us, knocking us off our feet. When major life changes leave you feeling overwhelmed and out of control, try some simple strategies to bring calm back into your life.
Accept the fact that change is always happening. It’s surprising that so many of us act surprised when change comes our way. Right now, your body is changing. The economy is changing. All around the world, life is radically changing due to the COVID-19 pandemic. If we resist and fight the changes, we can make ourselves more vulnerable to being swept away by it. Because change is a permanent part of life, make the healthy choice that when it comes your way, you will find ways to adapt, adjust, flow, and grow with it.
Choose your mindset. I remember the story of a young boy and his mom who were driving on an isolated road in Colorado when a furious storm struck. Treacherous road conditions sent the car into a skid and the vehicle spun out of control, rolled over several times, and landed upside down in a ditch filled with water.
Fortunately, both the mother and her son were wearing seat belts. The mother suffered a blow to the head which left her conscious but unable to move a muscle. The boy was shocked but not injured. With water pouring through a broken window, he unbuckled himself, crawled out the passenger window, and made his way to the driver’s side. There he reached inside to undo his trapped mother’s seatbelt. With great effort, he managed to free her, pull her out the window, and drag her through the water and up the embankment, where they were soon rescued.
Later, the mother retold the story of their accident. She told family and friends that she was frustrated at being unable to move or even to offer encouragement or instruction to her son. She was amazed by his resourcefulness and vividly remembered hearing him saying out loud as he dragged her body through the water and up the embankment: “I think I can. I think I can. I think I can!”
That young boy’s resolve and courage were bolstered by one of his favorite books, The Little Engine that Could. In that story, when everyone else had given up hope, the Little Engine carried the heavy load of toys and treats over the mountains to children waiting on the other side. Inspired by that story, the young boy chose to believe he could bring his mother to safety. His choice was a lifesaving mind-set.
Have faith. When you believe there is a good God on your side, your faith can help you get through anything–especially overwhelming change. Psalm 37:5 says it best: “Let the Lord lead you and trust Him to help” (CEV).
As you make space for prayer and the wisdom of the Bible, you’ll find that God offers direction and peace during your time of change. Author A.J. Cronin writes of the importance of leaving room for God’s leading, “Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages, through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us.”
Take a look at the change. When changes come your way, rather than reacting with fear or worry, take a second look to notice what’s happening. Ask yourselves questions like these:
- Why am I concerned about this?
- What am I afraid might happen?
- Am I only seeing the bad and not the good in this situation?
- What is something positive in this change if things remain as they are?
As you think about the changes in your life in this way, you’ll be able to find a new perspective and hopefully shrink your fear or worries.
Immerse yourself in the Positives. Positive thoughts can offset the fear or anxiety you may be having about the changes going on in your life. Positive self-talk can help you stop seeing the change as a mountain and more as a bend in the road. Here are some positive thoughts to get you started.
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending–Maria Robinson.
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live–Flora Whittemore.
There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction–Winston Churchill.
Look, I am about to do something new even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, rivers in the desert–God (quoted in Isaiah 43:19).
Count your blessings. No matter what you are facing, pause to tally up the good things going on. Make it a practice to jot down at least 3 things every day that you are thankful for, whether it’s the sound of your child’s laughter, a blue sky, or the flowers in your garden. Once you begin to train yourself to look for the good, you’ll notice more and more of it.
